A humbling reality.

As the year closes I try to take an honest look at my walk with the Lord and life in general. I have noticed a few things about myself that make me cringe. Those things which I hate in others are those things I possess. I wish I had been born with the ability to communicate personally like I do publicly. I have no problem teaching or speaking but I can not write well and I usually communicate what I want to say in a horrible manner. I have done damage to many people because of my mouth/blog. I so wish I could take back some of the things I have said. I can't though. I wonder if it's not best to just close it. If I am as bad a person as my blogging/facebooking/ interneting self appears then I am stinking pile. I am not trying to say that I don't believe in those things which defend the faith, I do, but the evidence is negated by how I say it. This next year I want to become the person that I have expected others to be. So what's the plan?

Continue to read daily and pray the liturgy of the hours.

Think before I open my mouth. (That will be hard)

Workout, eat better and get to bed before 1am.

The foolish things we say.

I posted something here a while back that was exceptionally negative. I took it off and I apologize if it offended anyone. I realized that posting nonsense like that defeats the intended purpose.

Travel Trailer

Jennifer and I love to travel. This last week when we visited my family in Arkansas we stayed in Trent's (Erin's fiance) travel trailer. It was great. I am convinced that we are going to get one. We can't really afford anything big. I would really just like to find something with a bed, heat and/or air and a place to cook. If we could even find a small one that needed a little work that would be great. I mean I like to camp but sometimes the hassle of loading up to go freeze and sleep on the ground get's old. We would like to hitch up and go. If you have any ideas let me know. I hope you and your family have a very blessed time. The holidays are a wonderful to rekindle a prayer life and an attitude of thankfulness.

It has been a long time

This past summer didn't allow much time to blog. When I get home I just want to crash and the last thing on my mind is blogging. Tonight I went through some of my old blogs and responses. I blogged most when I lived in Tulia and that was close to two years ago now. It doesn't seem that long ago but it was, wow. Much has changed in that time. I am not sure if situations or those people in my life, that form those situations, have changed as much as I have changed how I look at those things. I hope that my children will never have to experience some of the things I have in the last few years. I don't want them to have that taste in their mouth. I don't want them to know what's it like to be hated. However, I hope that everyone I know goes through times where they dig and ask questions, get rejected, act like a moron and have to pay for it and learn the fallible character of all of us. I don't envy the initial journey of these situations but in the end it really forces a person to look at a few things. I pray that when I have kids they will seek and not fear the consequences of that search. Even though wrong actions and mistakes have plagued many of my decisions those consequences helped form either a stronger resolve or questions that precipitated more questions. I hope that as I grow up in faith that I will learn to listen and wait. Presumption is the killer of wisdom. There are so many things I want to say but I fear saying them. I never thought I would see the day when I would shut up.

The longer I live as a Catholic a few things have started to take root. I am convinced that irrespective of the sect, denomination or church if a person is a follower of Jesus they are on the team I want to be a part of. The reformation splintered the church but now it's time to work on unification. It will take a lot of work. I also become more convinced that those we are closest to will see the true character we have not the character we wished we had.

Last night Jennifer and I took a girl who is here studying from Sweden out to the farm. She was quite in awe of the "big machines." It was neat. We asked a million questions about her culture and she our's. We tried to explain lobbyist. Her English was perfect but I am not sure she understood how we could allow it. Naturally the conversation turned to health care. I am really tired of hearing people who follow Jesus of Nazareth defend a system that is ran by greed to the detriment of the working poor. Then acting like the conviction is based on anything other than money. It's not about politics if it was then write your representative and ask them how much money they have received from the medical lobby. I can assure you that the amount they receive from the lobby has had more to do with the public's perception of the debate than our letters have. I just wish I would see a letter campaign asking for full disclosure on what they have received from these lobbies rather that false information from people with an agenda.

Anyway, as usual I just sat down and wrote what was on my mind. Most of time writing is in prep for a class I am teaching on John. I love it and still believe I was only made to do one thing.

I just rambled tonight. I write these mainly for myself.

List of 5 things I want to do this summer.

1. Go on vacation.
2. Get out of debt.
3. Read some good books.
4. Re-connect with lost friends.
5. Be a better Christian.

No big deal

It's really no big deal but, I have learned a few things these last several months.
1. As a person's relationship with God develops it becomes more like a relationship.
2. This is big to me because of my experience; when people will listen to what other say you are, and did, rather than the truth just move on. Defending yourself against willing ignorance is a waste of time.
3. People who have learned that perfect love casts out fear are the people who will model best what is Christianity.
4. Don't be suprised when people act as people.
5. Draw close to Christ in His Word and the Eucharist.
6. Debating with people who only listen to their side is like chasing a chicken.
7. The kingdom of God is not about great sermons, it is about living in a way that pleases God and serving others. I can't remember 1/25 of the sermons I have heard but always remember how people have acted.
8. If people form their opinions about you and your situation based on what others say move on and live like Jesus.

Some of these things come up because recently I have come to terms with the fact that fact is not what formed the opinion of our changes. I feel sorry and sad for those who have listened to third parties rather than the truth. I just hope to live a life worthy of God. I hope to serve others in a way that shows that true faith is lived not talked about, and then negated when the crap hits the fan. Peace.

St. Paul

St. Paul is my favorite author, Bible character, church planter, saint and leader. A few reasons why.

1. His conversion experience teaches that the validity of conversion is found in the change of the person.

2. He was willing to stand up for what was right even if it went against popular Christian thought.

3. He wrote pastoral letters in a time when it would have been easier to sulk over his situation.

4. He knew what he was talking about yet was gentle and firm.

5. He was more concerned that Christ was proclaimed than he was with who was proclaiming Him.

There are many things I love about St. Paul. I think he may have been the first ecumenist but he wasn't one because it was easy to do. He knew the nature of God as revealed in the Law and as He was revealing Himself to the early church.

Random Information

I thought I would post some odds and ends.
1. I think exmark mowers are the best ever made. If you are thinking about getting a commercial mower buy an exmark, they are not cheap but they are the best. I also like Shindaiwa trimmers and Stihl everything else. I like the torque on the Shindaiwas but the stihl 4mix engine is hard to beat. I know that means nothing to most who read this.
2. Tonight we are meeting some friends at Buffalo Wild Wings. I think I will order the mango habanero, Caribbean jerk and a beer. Yes it is good.
3. Tomorrow I am helping my friend Kirk get his house packed up. They finally bought a house and Christy, his wife is pregnant. We have been telling them to buy even if they move in a few they will still not be throwing their money away. Lubbock is a great renters market.
4. I was looking at a list of things I want to do. I was wondering, 'what am I waiting for.' I have been very blessed to get to this point in my life why wont I just do it. I guess I like quiet routine too much.
5. I am a protagonist. Jennifer would laugh if she heard that and say, "you should say you are really a protagonist."
6. I love to teach, in fact I think I was made for it. I am not a minister anymore, in the traditional sense anyway, but nothing gets me going like teaching through scripture. Scripture was intended to be studied from front to back. I hate the proof texting that resulted from the reformation. Pick whichever text suits you without the context, makes me gag. I am really looking forward to teaching through the letters of Paul this summer at church.
7. I wish I lived closer to water. I love the South Plains but I grew up with a few ponds, a lake and river all within a bike ride from my house. I bet I drove 15 miles a day with a pole over the handlebars and a tackle box strapped under the seat. I don't get to fish much. It's my fault though I got invited last weekend by Kirk to go to Allen Henry and didn't go.
8. I miss some old friends. I am a loner but I like BBQ and hanging out.
9. I am considering taking a photography class. I want to do a coffee table book of abandoned W. Texas towns and need to have some good pictures. If you have been to my facebook/myspace you know I am not a great photographer.
10. I want to live on a house in the middle of four sections I own. 2 grass, 1 grain and 1 wheat or hay. I want to be far away from others and have a sustainable operation. Some day I think it will happen, not anytime soon.
I have to go eat hot wings.

Last Night

What a night. I sleep pretty light but lately I have been way too tired to care about the dogs barkings, a big fly in the room or the homey's bass pumping down the block. Last night was an exception. The dogs would not be quiet. I go to bed really late, like 1 or later usually. I went outside several times and told the dogs to hush. They usually listen the first time and bow their heads as if to say 'sorry daddy.' Well I told them a few times and was too tired to see what they were barking about. I just closed my eyes, prayed and with drool on chin I dreamed of my life in St.Lucia. The alarm went off at 6 and the dogs were still barking. What in the world is their problem. Really my first thought was how embarrassed I was to have "those" dogs on the block that never shut up. I went outside and Aja, my lab, had a possum against the fence. She wouldn't touch it because it was under the hot wire I put on the bottom of the fence, she didn't know it wasn't plugged in. It was about 6 so Jennifer was sound asleep, I think she was dreaming of my life in St. Lucia. I called to Jennifer, she came to the window but without her glasses. She has really bad eyesight. So bad in fact she ran to the bedroom, grabbed the pistol in the night stand and said "go shoot that Sasquatch." It's a possum, calm down. Anyway I had to lock the dogs in the dog house to let the possum out. I think that he/she looked at me with a very thankful look as if to say 'I just wanted some dog food, I didn't want the neighbors to think you had "that" dog.' Thanks Mr. Possum, were cool.

Ten things I want to do, in no particular order, other than 1 to 10.
1. Backpack all over Europe with Jennifer.
2. Go to Mass at the Vatican.
3. Write a BBQ cook book.
4. Take my nephews to Disneyland.
5. Skydive.
6. Become humble and patient.
7. Do a pictorial coffee table book of ghost towns in Panhandle and South Plains.
8. Visit Tristan da Cunha.
9. Get my restricted Ornamental spraying license.
10. Do a deer grand slam with a bow.

The dark truth about Puppy.

Before you read popular blogs about things like "what I'd like to do in Europe" I think you should know what Jennifer and I are dealing with. I have decided to allow you into the dark secret of our life. We have created the economic crisis by allowing "puppy" to live in peace and harmony in our back yard. Even though the recession is ending it is true that puppy has been a role model and guide to all that has created these troubles. Allow me to explain. We found puppy after church one night in Tulia. He was outside the door when we left and Jennifer and I felt sorry for him. This should have been our first clue. You know, he hangs around waiting for someone to feel sorry for him when he is capable of walking home by himself. We took him home, gave him a bath and fed him. I told Jennifer "we are not keeping that dog." After giving him a nice bath and some vittles we set out to find puppy's home. Everyone shrugged their shoulders...he's not ours and we don't know whose he is. The first sign-responsibility for the problem would not be taken. We learned to like puppy. He jumped on my lap and "kissed" me. OK we can keep him. Little did I know this would result in the US economic collapse. You see puppy is a prototype, a foreshadowing if you will, of what was to come. Why do I say this? Well let's look at the evidence.
Puppy is a mooch. I know what you're thinking, "he's a dog." WRONG! He is what is wrong with America. Hanging out where good hearted people congregate to get something for free hoping someone will 'pick up the tab' while he smiles and looks cute giving the conciliatory lick on the face when needed. Puppy also doesn't want to claim responsibility and refuses to stay clean. Did I hear someone say deregulation and laziness? I thought so. However, it is our fault because we have allowed puppy to live in the lap of luxury while we struggle to survive so we can feed him. He who does not work, refuses to be regulated by baths and looks the other way when called to accountability. I am not an economist but I think the real problem is Puppy. Please follow Bob Barker's advice have your pet spayed or neutered and refuse to partake in the shenanigans of Puppy the great deceiver.

I couldn't make this up

Me and my brother in law were playing golf last week. It was a perfect day and we had a great time. There was a huge group of people in front of us who were playing really slow. I am not a great golfer but I hit it long off the tee and I hit into them two times in a row. I would like to say it was an accident but I wanted them to speed up. After the ball hit the tire on their cart they sped up. Well there was a twosome behind us and, of course, they caught up to us. They seemed to be nice and after asking we decided to let them play with us. I thought it would be fun. On the next hole one of the guys in the group asked us what we did for a living. "I own a print screening company...I run a small lawn business..." so on a so forth. Their response, "ok so you're not cops." Well no we are not police officers. We didn't know and didn't really care why he asked. I mean alot of people drink too much beer when they play golf, that's the best time to play for quarters. Then the man says "well I like to smoke pot when I play golf." We both laughed, we thought he was joking. We played a few holes, they were great to play with. We got to the next tbox and the questioner goes to his bag and kneels down for a while. All of the sudden I could smell what he was smoking. He was not joking. It was pretty awkward but we laughed about it later. Well we played a few more on the back nine. We were by far better golfers. We are not great but they were not good. We stopped at the turn, got a hot dog, hit the head and looked at the score card. As we were driving to 10 they asked if we wanted to play for money. Like real money. "No, I don't like to do that." We were playing pretty well. Them...not so much. He goes to hit his pipe and we look up and there are two police officers on the course. The guy was freaking out. We were laughing so hard. The officers were there for something else. He then told us he couldn't play golf very well because he was too high. I asked him, "so you all still want to play for money."

my new hair

What is going on?

The last couple of weeks have been fairly uneventful. We are in the season of Lent and I am really trying to take advantage of the season to allow Christ to refine my faith. Work is about to get busy and that is good, I hate it when I am slow. One thing that I am really excited about is this summer I am going to teach a class through the letters of Paul. I have enjoyed teaching apologetics but I really prefer to study texts and go through them. The class will introduce the background, theme and the message of each letter. As well it will include an application from the message of the letter. I really think, more now than ever, that study of Sacred Scripture has got to inform the mind with the goal of changing the person. This will be the over-arching goal of the class. When texts are studied within their context and not just picked apart, as never was the intention, the beauty of what God was saying is much more powerful.
In a few weeks my sister Erin, her boyfriend Trent and my two nephews are coming to see Jennifer and me. I am very excited. We don't have kids yet and I love those boys very much.
We have lived in Lubbock for over a year now and I have to say I love our life. We have fun. Well I will go now I hope you are well and God is real to you.

25 things

There has been a post on facebook called 25 random things about you. I have been tagged a few times but hate signing up for apps so I will post them here. I hope I can think of 25 things.
1. I am listening to 80s music.
2. I have twin sisters Erin and Emily.
3. My mom was born in Germany
4. My dad and I have the same middle name, Wyatt
5. I have three dogs, charlie, aja, and puppy
6. Two of my dogs are named after Steely Dan songs
7. I like to hunt
8. I fished everyday from the ages of 7 and 12, everyday
9. I used to stand on the ice on the edge of the river and fish, mom would kill me
10. I enjoy and nice chiante and some fave beans
11. I watch king of the hill if I don't fall asleep first
12. I look forward to having kids
13. I have eaten guinea pig
14. I hate that we focus on paparazzi when we are in a recession and at war
15. I like history
16. I think I am a good golfer until I play
17. I love my wife more than I ever thought possible
18. I like being my own boss
19. I woke myself up farting on a plane when I was 13 sitting next to a good looking girl
20. I have eaten Jamaican jerk in Jamaica
21. I love prime rib
22. I teach apologetics at church
23. I have little tolerance for ignorance
24. I hate the bailout
25. I don't like religion light
26. I love the Catholic church
27. I love my nephews
28. I let Aja in when Jennifer has gone to bed, we fall asleep in the recliner
29. Peggy has big feet Hank has a narrow urethra
30. I like having the best grass in town
31. I want to live in Montana, or at least a place where the closest neighbor is 50 miles
32. I am quiet until I know you, then I don't shut up
33. I am not a good dancer
34. I do not practice transcendental meditation
35. I suck at guitar hero
36. I would like to meet John Wayne and Jesus
37. I am argumentative
38. I thought I would be a lawyer when young cause I could talk my way out of anything
39. I told my wife the other day to take my hand we'll make it I swear because we were living on a prayer
40. I think I will make an 80s music 25-40 random things

Mary the Mother of God

Most converts from Protestant churches to the Catholic church will tell you that the most difficult teachings of the Church are those regarding Mary. Intellectually the arguments are not that difficult but to overcome years of conditioning is difficult to say the least. There was conference in Lubbock this weekend that dealt with the Biblical reasons for the Church's teachings on Mary. It helped me to have a deeper appreciation for Biblicity of the Church's actual teachings on Mary. Many of you had the opportunity to go and hear some of their recommended readings. I would like to suggest a few as well. First is "Catholic for a Reason II, Scripture and the Mystery of the Mother of God." Ed. Hahn and Suprenant. Second, "Hail Holy Queen," Hahn. I am sure there are other great books. Of course you know my two favs on most matters are Armstrong "Biblical Defense of Catholicism" and Romero's "Unabridged Christianity."

I would like to take a couple of minutes and address two things. 1. Why the uneasiness surrounding the Church's teachings on Mary. 2. A brief look at the Biblical background for those teachings. For those of you in my class this is a brief description of what we are studying.

1. Jennifer and I were working out at the gym a couple of weeks ago. They have four thousand tvs at the gym that play everything from Oprah to Fox News. One of the stations was a rap a channel. There was a guy singing about his great love for his, well, woman. Showing a great deal of disregard for women and decency at the same time. On his jacket were two pictures. On the left a Rosary on the right La Virgen de Guadalupe. (Mary as she revealed herself to Juan Diego, more about it later.) I got mad at seeing it but wasn't surprised. Mary in many parts of the world has become more of a cultural icon than a guide to holiness. This is one of the reasons there is such uneasiness about Mary...she is seldom understood by the vast majority of people who claim to be Catholic and this representation carries over into the world. When a protestant asks a Catholic about their worship of Mary rather than saying we don't worship her they don't know for the above reasons. I thought for the longest time that Catholics worshipped Mary to the neglect of Jesus. I was right and wrong. Many fallen away and other mildly committed Catholics plaster their walls with pictures of Mary and neglect the One she wishes we would go to. I was wrong because the Church is clear about the fact that Catholics are not supposed to worship Mary. She is our guide, she is the mother of God, she is our mother but she is not God. So when I as a protestant I felt weird about being around people who seemed to worship her to the neglect of Christ. As well I had been taught many things that the Catholic church supposedly taught about Mary. Most were not true. I viewed her as a great follower who had been given a wonderful responsibility of bearing Christ. After Jesus though I believed her work was done and she lived faithful to God at best. I never looked at her from a Biblical lens and knew few people who had. So, the cultural misrepresentations, the weak Catholics and the false preconditioning left me wanting to run from any idea of honoring Mary. When I converted I could make a Biblical argument but my heart was still tense about the matter. I assumed this will take a while to overcome. However it is important to understand that what the Catholic church teaches about Mary is Biblical. Someone who speaks as an authority about what the Catholic church teaches, from outside the church, usually does so based on the information provided by marginally informed Catholics. I would encourage both Protestant and Catholic Christians to read what the Church teaches on Mary. Catechism of the Catholic Church 963 and following.

2. Is there any Biblical evidence for what the Church teaches about Mary?

I have already written too much so I will list some verses below with a brief description of why. Read them in their greater Biblical context. As well ask questions if you want, I am not saying I have the answers but you can ask.

Revelation 11:19= John sees the Ark of the Covenant. Revelation 12 the Ark, it is Mary.

Parallels between 2Sam 6 and Luke 1

-Arose and went to Judah

-Blessed

-Mother/Ark come to me

-Leaping

-Three months

(You have to read the text for that to make sense, but look for those key words when you do.)

The brothers of Jesus are from another Mary, according to the New Testament

-Matthew 13:55

-Matt 27:55-56; 27:61; 28:1

-John 19:25

She is identified as Mary the mother of the others then John tells us she is the other Mary.

Ok that is a good start and I am running out of time. I don't get to hang out on the computer all the time.

Best Tortilla Soup in the World

I love Mexican food. For example a guy that works for me told me that he was having stomach problems because every day at lunch we had to eat Mexican food. It may not have been the food but how fast we ate. I tell them when I am done eating we are leaving, not literally but we do eat fast in the summer. I have a few favs. I love Abuelos for a higher end meal. You know Sunday after church or date night. I also like any hole in the wall place where the accents are thick and the salsa is hot. Jennifer is a good cook. She usually cooks healthy food. I didn't like it at first because I wanted something to fill me up. Tonight she made tortilla soup. It was the best in the world. If there is a cook-off somewhere I am going to encourage her to enter it. Really if there is a rockin smart, cool, awesome, spiritual, smart, good looking wife contest I would encourage her to enter that too. She is the best. When I consider that God has let me live my life with her I am filled with such a quiet satisfaction that I thank God.
Things here are going well. Work is slow this time of year, which is cool. Jennifer is still plugging away at school and we are making new friends. That is easier for Jennifer than me.
Hope you are well and that God is real to you.

2008

What a year. It was by far the craziest year of our lives. There were a lot of mistakes made and many graces granted. I feel very fortunate. Jennifer continues with her school. I am still in business but who am I kidding I will probably end up teaching scripture, somehow. Well here is a link to many 08 pictures of ours.
http://s428.photobucket.com/albums/qq7/ebenwyatt/2008/