It has been a long time

This past summer didn't allow much time to blog. When I get home I just want to crash and the last thing on my mind is blogging. Tonight I went through some of my old blogs and responses. I blogged most when I lived in Tulia and that was close to two years ago now. It doesn't seem that long ago but it was, wow. Much has changed in that time. I am not sure if situations or those people in my life, that form those situations, have changed as much as I have changed how I look at those things. I hope that my children will never have to experience some of the things I have in the last few years. I don't want them to have that taste in their mouth. I don't want them to know what's it like to be hated. However, I hope that everyone I know goes through times where they dig and ask questions, get rejected, act like a moron and have to pay for it and learn the fallible character of all of us. I don't envy the initial journey of these situations but in the end it really forces a person to look at a few things. I pray that when I have kids they will seek and not fear the consequences of that search. Even though wrong actions and mistakes have plagued many of my decisions those consequences helped form either a stronger resolve or questions that precipitated more questions. I hope that as I grow up in faith that I will learn to listen and wait. Presumption is the killer of wisdom. There are so many things I want to say but I fear saying them. I never thought I would see the day when I would shut up.

The longer I live as a Catholic a few things have started to take root. I am convinced that irrespective of the sect, denomination or church if a person is a follower of Jesus they are on the team I want to be a part of. The reformation splintered the church but now it's time to work on unification. It will take a lot of work. I also become more convinced that those we are closest to will see the true character we have not the character we wished we had.

Last night Jennifer and I took a girl who is here studying from Sweden out to the farm. She was quite in awe of the "big machines." It was neat. We asked a million questions about her culture and she our's. We tried to explain lobbyist. Her English was perfect but I am not sure she understood how we could allow it. Naturally the conversation turned to health care. I am really tired of hearing people who follow Jesus of Nazareth defend a system that is ran by greed to the detriment of the working poor. Then acting like the conviction is based on anything other than money. It's not about politics if it was then write your representative and ask them how much money they have received from the medical lobby. I can assure you that the amount they receive from the lobby has had more to do with the public's perception of the debate than our letters have. I just wish I would see a letter campaign asking for full disclosure on what they have received from these lobbies rather that false information from people with an agenda.

Anyway, as usual I just sat down and wrote what was on my mind. Most of time writing is in prep for a class I am teaching on John. I love it and still believe I was only made to do one thing.

I just rambled tonight. I write these mainly for myself.

List of 5 things I want to do this summer.

1. Go on vacation.
2. Get out of debt.
3. Read some good books.
4. Re-connect with lost friends.
5. Be a better Christian.

No big deal

It's really no big deal but, I have learned a few things these last several months.
1. As a person's relationship with God develops it becomes more like a relationship.
2. This is big to me because of my experience; when people will listen to what other say you are, and did, rather than the truth just move on. Defending yourself against willing ignorance is a waste of time.
3. People who have learned that perfect love casts out fear are the people who will model best what is Christianity.
4. Don't be suprised when people act as people.
5. Draw close to Christ in His Word and the Eucharist.
6. Debating with people who only listen to their side is like chasing a chicken.
7. The kingdom of God is not about great sermons, it is about living in a way that pleases God and serving others. I can't remember 1/25 of the sermons I have heard but always remember how people have acted.
8. If people form their opinions about you and your situation based on what others say move on and live like Jesus.

Some of these things come up because recently I have come to terms with the fact that fact is not what formed the opinion of our changes. I feel sorry and sad for those who have listened to third parties rather than the truth. I just hope to live a life worthy of God. I hope to serve others in a way that shows that true faith is lived not talked about, and then negated when the crap hits the fan. Peace.

St. Paul

St. Paul is my favorite author, Bible character, church planter, saint and leader. A few reasons why.

1. His conversion experience teaches that the validity of conversion is found in the change of the person.

2. He was willing to stand up for what was right even if it went against popular Christian thought.

3. He wrote pastoral letters in a time when it would have been easier to sulk over his situation.

4. He knew what he was talking about yet was gentle and firm.

5. He was more concerned that Christ was proclaimed than he was with who was proclaiming Him.

There are many things I love about St. Paul. I think he may have been the first ecumenist but he wasn't one because it was easy to do. He knew the nature of God as revealed in the Law and as He was revealing Himself to the early church.

Random Information

I thought I would post some odds and ends.
1. I think exmark mowers are the best ever made. If you are thinking about getting a commercial mower buy an exmark, they are not cheap but they are the best. I also like Shindaiwa trimmers and Stihl everything else. I like the torque on the Shindaiwas but the stihl 4mix engine is hard to beat. I know that means nothing to most who read this.
2. Tonight we are meeting some friends at Buffalo Wild Wings. I think I will order the mango habanero, Caribbean jerk and a beer. Yes it is good.
3. Tomorrow I am helping my friend Kirk get his house packed up. They finally bought a house and Christy, his wife is pregnant. We have been telling them to buy even if they move in a few they will still not be throwing their money away. Lubbock is a great renters market.
4. I was looking at a list of things I want to do. I was wondering, 'what am I waiting for.' I have been very blessed to get to this point in my life why wont I just do it. I guess I like quiet routine too much.
5. I am a protagonist. Jennifer would laugh if she heard that and say, "you should say you are really a protagonist."
6. I love to teach, in fact I think I was made for it. I am not a minister anymore, in the traditional sense anyway, but nothing gets me going like teaching through scripture. Scripture was intended to be studied from front to back. I hate the proof texting that resulted from the reformation. Pick whichever text suits you without the context, makes me gag. I am really looking forward to teaching through the letters of Paul this summer at church.
7. I wish I lived closer to water. I love the South Plains but I grew up with a few ponds, a lake and river all within a bike ride from my house. I bet I drove 15 miles a day with a pole over the handlebars and a tackle box strapped under the seat. I don't get to fish much. It's my fault though I got invited last weekend by Kirk to go to Allen Henry and didn't go.
8. I miss some old friends. I am a loner but I like BBQ and hanging out.
9. I am considering taking a photography class. I want to do a coffee table book of abandoned W. Texas towns and need to have some good pictures. If you have been to my facebook/myspace you know I am not a great photographer.
10. I want to live on a house in the middle of four sections I own. 2 grass, 1 grain and 1 wheat or hay. I want to be far away from others and have a sustainable operation. Some day I think it will happen, not anytime soon.
I have to go eat hot wings.

Last Night

What a night. I sleep pretty light but lately I have been way too tired to care about the dogs barkings, a big fly in the room or the homey's bass pumping down the block. Last night was an exception. The dogs would not be quiet. I go to bed really late, like 1 or later usually. I went outside several times and told the dogs to hush. They usually listen the first time and bow their heads as if to say 'sorry daddy.' Well I told them a few times and was too tired to see what they were barking about. I just closed my eyes, prayed and with drool on chin I dreamed of my life in St.Lucia. The alarm went off at 6 and the dogs were still barking. What in the world is their problem. Really my first thought was how embarrassed I was to have "those" dogs on the block that never shut up. I went outside and Aja, my lab, had a possum against the fence. She wouldn't touch it because it was under the hot wire I put on the bottom of the fence, she didn't know it wasn't plugged in. It was about 6 so Jennifer was sound asleep, I think she was dreaming of my life in St. Lucia. I called to Jennifer, she came to the window but without her glasses. She has really bad eyesight. So bad in fact she ran to the bedroom, grabbed the pistol in the night stand and said "go shoot that Sasquatch." It's a possum, calm down. Anyway I had to lock the dogs in the dog house to let the possum out. I think that he/she looked at me with a very thankful look as if to say 'I just wanted some dog food, I didn't want the neighbors to think you had "that" dog.' Thanks Mr. Possum, were cool.

Ten things I want to do, in no particular order, other than 1 to 10.
1. Backpack all over Europe with Jennifer.
2. Go to Mass at the Vatican.
3. Write a BBQ cook book.
4. Take my nephews to Disneyland.
5. Skydive.
6. Become humble and patient.
7. Do a pictorial coffee table book of ghost towns in Panhandle and South Plains.
8. Visit Tristan da Cunha.
9. Get my restricted Ornamental spraying license.
10. Do a deer grand slam with a bow.