If you would have asked me at 18 if I would have things figured out by 33 I would have eagerly responded "yes." I had thought for so long that I knew what I was supposed to do. I had spent all of my energies working to that end only to realize that that very journey led me to a place where I have more questions than answers. I do believe that I have certain gifts suited for some kind of ministry but what kind? I struggle with this daily. What am I supposed to do with my life? What career am I supposed to pursue etc? Those who are most certain of their own contribution to the world, i.e. how much they have figured out etc. repulse me, it's just misguided arrogance or maybe insecurity. (I would explain but I am not in the mood for apologetics right now.) Then there are those who seem to have figured somethings out and yet humbly would say the journey may very well be their destination. Who knows? I certainly don't.
The only thing that I have learned this far in my bewildered journey is:
I know that God made Jennifer McGuire to be my wife.
I know that I was given a gift I am too confused to know how to use.
I know that there is a God and He has sent Jesus so that I may know Him.
I know I have much to learn.
I just want to know what I am supposed to do. I am considering going and getting another masters but I am past the point in my life of wanting to go for going sake. Anyway, I wish I knew as much as I pretend to know at times.
